I hate math period

So like most kids I had that one subject that just absolutely sucked the big one, in my case it was two math and science. I struggled all through school with these two subjects and even though I had an IEP or individual education plan and was in “easier” math and science classes it was still impossible for me! When I was in high school and dealing with my mental health issues my school psychologist refused to do testing to diagnose my mental health or my learning disabilities stating that I was just acting out for attention. It wasn’t until I graduated and got diagnosed. So why was math so hard? I have Dyscalculia. Here’s some info I found on the internet when I decided to look more into this diagnosis.

Dyscalculia is a learning disorder that affects a person’s ability to understand number-based information and math. People who have dyscalculia struggle with numbers and math because their brains don’t process math-related concepts like the brains of people without this disorder. However, their struggles don’t mean they’re less intelligent or less capable than people who don’t have dyscalculia.

The symptoms of this disorder usually appear in childhood, especially when children learn how to do basic math. However, many adults have dyscalculia and don’t know it. People who have dyscalculia often face mental health issues when they have to do math, such as anxiety, depression and other difficult feelings.

Experts estimate it affects between 3% and 7% of people worldwide.

People who have dyscalculia are neurodivergent. Neurodiversity is a term that describes how no two people have the same brain, and everyone’s brain forms and develops in a completely unique way. For people with dyscalculia, that means their brain works differently from the brain of someone who doesn’t have disorders or conditions that affect how their brain works.

Solving a math problem like “2+2=?” might seem simple, but it takes several different skills — and the areas of the brain that manage them — working together to do it. Some of those include:

• Visual processing: Your eyes see the entirety of the math problem and send the components back to your brain for processing.
• Short-term memory: You use your short-term memory to hold onto the specifics of the math problem as you work on it. For example, the number amounts, the symbols and the order in which they appear.
• Language: You use this part of your brain to translate the symbols in the math problem into what those symbols mean. That’s how you know what the plus sign, equal sign and question mark mean in this context.
• Long-term memory: You access this kind of memory to remember the process of how to solve a math problem. In this case, your brain identifies that this is an addition problem based on the plus sign and the equals sign.
• Understanding of quantities and amounts: Your brain translates the symbol “2” into the understanding that it represents a specific amount or quantity. Children usually learn this principle by giving them examples like fruits or animals.
• Calculation: This process unites all of the above, helping you solve that 2+2=4.

For a neurotypical person, the above processes all work as expected. Depending on how severe their case is, people with dyscalculia may struggle with certain parts of the process.

So what causes it?

In most cases, especially in children, experts don’t know why dyscalculia happens. There’s evidence that learning disorders — including dyscalculia — may run in families. However, more research is necessary to confirm this.

Experts do know that people with dyscalculia are more likely to have certain differences in some areas of their brain. These differences seem to indicate less development and fewer connections between brain cells in those areas. The affected areas are ones your brain uses when doing anything that involves numbers and calculations. However, experts don’t know why these differences happen and how they influence this disorder’s symptoms.

Related conditions

Dyscalculia often happens alongside other conditions. While these aren’t causes, they can be a clue to help healthcare providers recognize and diagnose dyscalculia. Conditions that often happen alongside dyscalculia include:

• Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
• Dyslexia, dysgraphia or non-verbal learning disorders.
• Sensory processing disorders.
• Autism spectrum disorder.

People with dyscalculia also have a higher risk of mental health disorders. Experts don’t know if these are more likely to happen because a person has dyscalculia, but these are still important factors that healthcare providers will consider when making a diagnosis and recommending treatment.

• Anxiety disorder or panic disorder.
• Behavior disorders (such as oppositional defiant disorder or conduct disorder).
• Bipolar disorder.
• Depression.

So that’s my story for the night if you have any questions about my life living with this or any other of my disabilities feel free to ask and I’ll answer the best I can!

My life and the discrimination I’ve experienced

Discrimination is defined as the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people, especially on the grounds of ethnicity, age, sex, or disability. Now you may think Amanda your 34 what discrimination could you possibly have experienced. The short answer more then I’d care to ever admit too. In my last post I got a lil off topic so I hope to break down bits of information from that post and make smaller post in the next few weeks and go into more detail.

When I started kindergarten another students parent didn’t want me in their class because they didn’t want their child to “catch” what I had that was my first exposure to discrimination because of my disability and I was 4 or 5 years old, yeah kinda fucked up I know.

I experienced discrimination in Girl Scouts quiet often after sixth grade I dropped out because I became more aware at that time that I wasn’t liked by some of the other girls and even the mothers involved.

Other times I’ve experienced discrimination include my one relatives father, who made the comment at a family function when I was little about how children who are disabled shouldn’t exist, another relative who actually married into the family and then divorced so they aren’t family anymore said that kids with disabilities shouldn’t be in classrooms with “normal” kids, and in that instance they where talking about mental disability not the physical kind but still kinda fucked up don’t you think? I’ve also had the fun experience of people wondering why my mother didn’t have an abortion or why I wasn’t put up for adoption.

Most recently my experiences with discrimination involve me trying to find a job, my first job was at a day care when I was 16 but I never had an issue per say with discrimination at that time it was more my mental health was so bad I ended up quitting. I worked at a local library (Birdsboro for the locals wondering and no I don’t have an issue calling them out) and I didn’t disclose that I was handicapped, got the job low and behold after 90 days which if you don’t know is the standard probation period for most jobs, I was fired. I don’t have proof just a lot of he said she said but they falsely accused me of somethings and supposedly had documentation that’s I signed which fyi I never did. And all of this occurred after my co-worked found out that I was handicapped. But again it was he said she said situation. Because of this specific situation I’ve always been very guarded about disclosing my disability and not just in the work place. I’m still struggling to find work to this day there are gaps in my resume but I remain hopeful.